Folding Skin

Being a little buzzed from a drink, drained from the longest fall season, restless from still giving up on deciding on a movie to watch and still wanting to do something to fill the time, fatigued mentally and from a week of reconnecting with friends I hadn't seen in a while – I feel like a cauldron mellowing with various emotions, feelings, realities. I wonder – in my alone time, how I can be so whole yet so needing of the networks and relationships that surround me. Perhaps it was living in a noisy house with plenty of siblings, or always having some presence around me throughout boarding school. Yet, I cannot shake the feeling that when lines too straight they go straight to the blinding sun. In other words – we, I meander, my callouses grow, slip on the stairs occasionally, what used to taste horrid now has a comfort to it. We learn to love what we disliked with such venom and continue to reinvent ourselves.