Lau de Bugs
journal
dev
1
My eyes crack open with fatigue weighing down on them. It's 8.34 am. I slept through the alarm - or I forgot to set an alarm - or I trusted my body to wake itself before the stand-up. Either way, my sleep over the past weeks has become much more routinely irregular.
I power on my machine, perhaps spending a minute or two to get my cold brew, swivel on my chair and listen. There's always someone running the show, and I turn on my editor back to where I'd left over the previous day.
I'm definitely late for that meeting and assemble my thoughts before I'm picked on to give an update. A few Uhhms as I open my pending PRs. "Working on [this and that]" I say - but If I were really stretching myself I could've finished all the work for this sprint in a day or two. I like the "corporate" nature of work sometimes - but I know there's a temptation to sink into the benignness of getting assigned tasks - and being expected to get into the routine of delivering things on certain timelines. That predictability of what I do at work I have found frustrating - so during my free time, I've spent my evenings and nights shipping something of my own - without timelines, without well-known requirements - chipping away at a project one google search after another - since my four year degree taught me how to google somewhat well enough so far.
And yet - I know there's plenty of things to learn at times it has felt overwhelming - so I've used the projects I've been involved in as a guide to learning something new - because it's not how much I know about something that's been helpful but rather being flexible and ready to learn. So sometimes I tell my PM or Scrum Master that the implementation doesn't matter because it's a learning opportunity for me. I think that's important for my curiosity - or I'll get bored changing margins and font-sizes.
I worked from my bed, from my closet, from my kitchen, from the train, from the airport. This thing I do - isn't work anymore - at least not in the traditional sense that I've seen it. Perhaps it's the whole work from anywhere that's erased the boundaries.
In a sense - there's always this dance to play — between staying curious and contributing to a vision - even in the smallest of ways. Or else we'd be all trying to get our own things done and not achieve as much as we could together.